unreal

stand back i'm
not intact i'll
fall apart the minute you're in it,
i spin it in my mind
and find
the inside
a stranger

knowing nothing,
i make a wager
a bet
the stage sets
(by a round of applause..
..how did that feel?)

real?

what the hell is that

real...
may as well speak french
or eat eel
'cause i know 'real' just as well..
i can't tell
the mirage from the hallucination
and now step with trepidation into some blank page (i swear i wrote on)
the words now all gone

the pen in my hand
is deadly
unplanned
silence

don't you know i'm armed? dangerous?
my life's work, to traumatize bliss
and make madness exist
at every page's end

i want to play pretend
but keep forgetting: I AM.

stand back
my pieces are real
and might hurt when they hit
but just for a minute