your turn

satisfaction
is the beauty of the action
beautiful, unnecessary,
and given traction

pacify me,
and you lose my focus
my gut dropped hopeless
deeper into
meaningless
and i forget what
the real thing
looks like.

come on,
spike my drink
make me forget
how to think
leave my mindful analysis
at the bottom of a delicious mess
so i don't remember
where
the needle went
in that most powerful descent

breathless is a memory
shaken from me

i should not have to ask

i linger on this for one
more
moment

done.

web woven, spun

tag, you're it

magic carpet #9

so,
what's
the space
between your
face
and mine
the line
..crossed.. broken?
spoken
for?
adore,
implore,
not sure.

endure..

so pure,
obscured
the light
less bright
(some kiss
some night)
remember it?
a little.. bit..
decide,
inside.
(i lost my ride
on magic carpet #9
so smooth,
divine
it felt
so fine..)

i am the light by which i write
in whole,
despite
some kiss
some night
a million sparks or
passion fights
my spark
is dark
(yet, that's not right,
i see you
still glowing
in my sight)

i said,
i felt.
these cards, they're dealt
and my wall
so tall
will surely fall

again..
and then

i am too many wonders and whens
sit, watch all my
truths pretend

but

i write three words. i hit send.

what we are not

explosions making
something
pretty
into pity

anywhere but here
i fear
is broken down to nowhere
it is no mystery why
anything is broken down
these days

no sense of amazed wonder
that the spell you were
under
is now
firewood
blazing burning bright into
countless
effortlessly
empty nights
i am here.
you are there
it is much clearer
than i dare
to see.

everything

my absence
is relentless
pulling on the hem
of my dress
like a spoiled child
wanting
more.

blindfold

were you dancing
along making songs
out of rhythms you could
only hear because
you were listening
to my breathing
why was it so
goddamn
incredibly
important
you find me
before,
if now
you are doing
all you can
to lose me

everything happens

whatever reason
the grand cosmic scheme
has for this moment
in time
in relation to my life

it better be a damn good one

unless the universe is one sick f**k

in which case
i hand in my resignation papers
and quit
believing
in
real

coming soon..

how do i see color now
when black and white have ruined it
i look up, i see no clouds
but rain keeps falling, clueless

tasted night upon my tongue
and sure,
it was purely magic
but in the moonlight i've become
something pale, and tragic..

maybe you don't give a damn
maybe you lied.. but..
either way, i'm crumbling
inside

i see there's more ways than one
to find a light inside me
but i have stared into the sun
and all the spots remind me
and all the spots, they blind me..

my wits

my hands make a stance on my hips
my lips
drip with the sound of knowing
my heart's showing
out the bottom of my dress
and yes,
i'm not even wearing one
i may sound fun
but i'm a mess you bet on
then you spit on
then you put your game face on
and you battle my wits
the bits
of wisdom you admit
my light, lit?
who's it?
not me..
i see more than you even ignore
i fell so far
i am no star
not yet
but don't place no bets
i'll make you crazy
i have i do i will and you
i will always come through
for
never think i am not her in your
search for the
obvious
truth
i hope you find me worth what i am
cuz i am so
much
more
than what you came for
i snore,
i make
beautiful everything out of anything you need,
and i
bleed

though i do

deliciously given a rhythm
and i felt it slide
down my back
intact
with the fact that
i move like i'm me
even though the hole is there, see
my thighs, swollen
with the dance i
held i hold i feel i sway
i make nothing feel sane
i stay
i made misery a part of me, then
i
let
it
go
could i do so,
if you let go..
who knows
who wants to know
i don't

breathe

i sit
in the middle
of what i do not want
and ponder
what i have not got
what you are, a lot
(i remember
how i fought)
get up
and dance
around questions
i never wanted
to want answers to
(i remember
how i feel you,
remember
that i do.)

i am worth
every second
of every breath
you take
in between
the words you say
that can't decide
and i know
you're still
breathing.

you are worth
every second
of every sigh
i make
with a million little
sighs pouring
trickling quickly
down the back of my throat
where my heart
is climbing
steadily
up to your
hands

i wish you could find her
she knows too
she's soft, and blue
and understands the nature
of exhaling
in order
to inhale
fresh
air

wait..

my foot
is starting
to get bruised
from every time
the door closes
on it.

it hurts more
and
more
each
time

i imagine soon it will be numb

and someone will have to
grab a hold of me
and pull
me in
a little
harder
if i am to enter,
as i will be dragging
dead weight..

i hope
i come in
before
that
happens

i answer

random beautiful crazy you ask me i answer
not gently, catastrophe,
reason
for everything, tell me, there is.
the sizzle
the bliss, don't leave me
terrified, monster
under
my
bed
his head, appears
bewildered, unclear i am marking my
territory come on let me
implore me
i wander wonder think think cry
decide i am wise
insane
devise no plan
just run really
really
fast
you want this
just ask, i wander out into your asking
and fear the question revoked
at the merciless mouth of a growl
a spark more dark than the light i couldn't leave, right
i fought i fought i fight
for this shimmering, blissful night
untold unfold everything all over, i'm sold
on the fact i can't
let
go
i must know
something about the nature of beauty,
the beauty of nature
i trust me, i take her
into some
crazy
place
and touch her face