i am drinking wine.
i am running out of sane things to think.
none of this is metaphorical
or gets to the point
but it's all relative

abracadabra

the center
of the earth
is
crumbling
and
pulling
everything
into
itself
in some
last ditch
effort
to
pretend
the end
is only the beginning.
which it is

by osmosis

just keep me at
arm's length and hopefully i
won't
light you on fire

i'm not even sure
the length of my arm
is long
enough,
i hope yours will do

if beauty
found
in a flower
could transform me
by osmosis
i'd pick it
and stick it in my hair but
something else
is
already there

(that line. drawn where? right, i LOST it. in my hair.
i forgot it was there)

i've now
tripped over
fell off
choked on
and lost

'the line'

perhaps crossing it is not the answer

(a field of daisies...and i can't touch it)

a million whiles

i stand awkwardly
in the doorway and smile
some difficult wish effervescing ridiculously
all over me
from the mouth of an unintended miscreant
but
paler tragedies have met the lips of this regret
and none of them even
truly tragic
and the havoc
played out, in style
is the last of a million whiles
by default

i stand
surreptitiously
in an alley
surprising me
not particularly interested in the dark, though
when it is simply a lack of light

funny

i'll sit right here
making real of myself
and make fun of your instant regret for my existence
'cause i'd much rather laugh

i wandered out into some
clearly unchartered territory and

somehow
discovered myself plucking petals
in a field of maybes
which happened to be a deep
shade of
some color i never wanted to see

a story (a rest stop)

some dark alley some stupid night
and chills of sleep wishes of deep running through me
my feet walking as i'm waking from some bleary eyed mess
eyes worse for wear
tattered

a stranger, something in his hand
a candy, me intrigued, i take it
i taste it

continue on walking
home
(not a place though
i was nowhere
then)

i arrive somewhere starving
and miraculously
discover a feast
before me

ravenously i devour it
but in my malnourished state
didn't realize i was
dreaming the feast
..didn't even know i was sleeping..
awoke with a shock, head spinning

empty empty empty nothing

this is when
i remember the taste
of the candy and
for the sake of my blood sugar
for the sake of distraction
from hunger
i go

the stranger, not so strange anymore
hand out, candy in it
in
my
mouth
now

real is what...??

i am

this whisper
is the sound
of the waking
inside

and it makes the loudest
sound
of whatever on earth i've
ever heard
and not even a word

a deep native murmur satiates
the subtle disintegration of silence

the call to invoke
a birthright

the sound that surpasses any moment of desire by miles

a whisper that tastes of a scream
and means
i hear
it

two girls collide in a forest. will anybody hear...

some girl, her lantern so mildly intensified
(much like her eyes)
wanders through the shadowy dark, trees
make shapes in her clouded gaze in ways that
intrigue her to 'see'

makes her way with:
an empty wish for incandescence
two thirds of a heart
a dull axe (to slay what is not 'real')
and a poorly preconceived notion of the word 'feel'

she leaves a trail of something stale
bread crumbs?
they were...
for sure
but led anyone in circles
who dared to follow
and so
not a soul to truly find her
truly.

(another girl,
setting fire to the trees
behind her
was not noticed)

one could find
some girl
upon taking the wrong turn,
and smacking unwittingly into her, full force
knocking her down
finding her a pale remnant of a frown
laying there, dazed, not aware of a thing
a complete lack of light
with a complete lack of fight

one would, in that circumstance, meet
'some girl'
not
'a girl'

where some girl leaves bread crumbs
a girl leaves fairy dust on fire

and when they finally fell into each others arms,
exhausted,
i sighed

it's about time

instant regret

i'm not running in either direction
with any intention
not sitting entrenched in
whatever's unmentioned

the sound of real kept bouncing off the walls
the stalls
and who plays pretend
towards some 'end'
and extends that till
never never land lets me in
come on, read that again
make assumptions about it, you know you want to

i began to speak these words
when i knew the world was about to end

'the world', sick
how sick is that
i was never even up to bat? awesome

i don't even care to go in any
direction
ever
again

i'll sit right here
making real of myself
and make fun of your instant regret for my existence

nevermind wrong place wrong time
that was my problem