'and we talked like children without breathing'

My sleeping patterns have not made sense in 32 years and I am not sure that will ever change. It is magical outside right now. I saw something shoot through the sky and I don't know if it was a meteor or a shooting star or if they are different or the same and all I really know is that it had a tracer that lasted for what seemed like forever but really it could have been 1 second, but it was beautiful. I have spontaneously given up on going to bed at a decent hour though several attempts were made at saving myself. I stopped myself from drinking any more beer after the first one and some 4 non blondes, then janis, which was the kicker cuz who doesn't drink after singing janis. Well probably a lot of people don't but somehow I need to.. but I walked away even though it would have been a lot of random fun at that birthday party, then I go next door for a minute and instead of standing in the doorway and talking for 3 minutes I give up and chill on the deck with some wine cuz I can't resist the mutual dump of information that is necessary for our survival. And she had wine. And I just got tired of trying to resist things and be responsible because that's just not me all the time. So then I walk home and adham shaikh is playing in my ears and stormy summer wind is blowing and I see the shooting mass of light in the sky and the clouds form weird simple beauty and I just want to break out in dancing all along the street, but I've wanted to do that all day, and my whole life. Break out into a dance everywhere I go and when I can I do. I am so much better now. I remembered to be me who is very young, very wild, and very free. She wasn't here two years ago. Maybe longer. And I found out that the right discipline and structure and motivation is the true key to freedom, real freedom, and now I am learning how to do it. Summer nights are made for me to live in. I want to sleep under a tree. Right now.