if the laughter is a habit

i don't lie
(only half the time)
when the rhythm i've been given
is in sharp decline
though i've
gotten pretty good
at
forgetting what i should(n't)
somehow i
just
can't
let
go
(anymore)

i try,
and i almost.. man i almost had it
but the laughter is a habit
by the end of the downswing
my thing
loses it's momentum
something like a pendulum
upswing,
downswing
(what the hell is my thing?)
did someone hear a phone ring
(oh right, upswing)
forgetting is a question that's
remembering an answer
sometimes i'm a dancer
but sometimes
i get
madder than a hatter
does it really f**kin' matter?

(if the laughter is a habit,
if the downswing finds me shattered
into thirty million pieces
on a shiny silver platter)

well
i'm starting to
think
it
does