i never could

the minute i stepped in it
i needed new shoes

began to lose old blues
to the tune of a very different sad,
sad song
played softly, at first,
no mind made worse by the turn of
subtly delicious entanglements
distractions from actions untamed
it was frivolous. but sane

quiet reasoning leapt
out anxiously from thoughts
of last night's
felony
and i said,
shhh.
there, there..
quietly
so people don't stare

nervously i
expected everything
remember me? stupid, free,
gazing glaze-eyed over the maze
taking space up with some 'meaningless' phase
i can quit whenever
i
want.
i can
i swear
i will
if i really, really wanted to..i would.
what am i talking about here?..
wow.