no thing is still air (therefore some thing)

i sit here
and make reference before excuse after reason
followed by denial
(make fun of a smile)

decriminalize the extent of my fear
fake a bitter laugh
while a sick crushing intent turns frankenstein
and makes light of what i meant
makes dark of the scent it craved

then i find some me
a memory-intrigued me
i stand here while i sit there
look over and stare

last night's nevernever land
or some foreign brand of fate

illusion or circumstance
be careful what you wish for?

i step back from the edge
try to make jokes about jumping
look down, feel nothing
it's much
much
easier