fast as you can

i curl up next to chaos
nudge it gently
lovingly
it opens its arms to me
cradles me
entirely

lulled to sleep by wild and sighs and tries, no less
i stare hard into the cracks between this,
and that,
and wait for
what

i fall hard out of a dream i wander sweet into a muse
i listen
i want to roar
i tremble
to hear every note i wasn't listening for
before

i fumble in my pocket for the keys
as if i'm going to leave

then wonder if i should be driving

keys
ignition
rear view mirror

clearer

naturally..

what's supposed to happen
doesn't happen
unless
it's
supposed
to

sounds simple
but
sometimes simple
just
doesn't
click

something like her

i hear
subtle minds
crashing into
the sky

eyes free to ask
words free
to say why

find
no struggle for wonder
as my lips waken
to thunder

so i
(speak)

i, spaced with wakened grace
had been dazed where i laid
but found me

toes tipping off the edge
she
spinning at
the masochism of the
bottom i
grabbed her hand
and
said
'look'

she shook
incessantly

eyes
widen
slowly
turned
up
wild the sky like facing the lie

wide the sky like
nothing she tried

a fool, but she barely knew
it was
all
so
true

nothing like her

turned out

calmer,
now
i
walk out

all this time

want it all
wanted all

made a wall
made it fall

backspace, delete
retreat
rinse
repeat

repeat repeat repeat

(stop)