ten random thoughts in one hour of fresh air

one. are the dog days really over? are they?

two. we live in a beautiful place & take it for granted. look around.

three. why don't i just jump in the water right now?

four. i'm hungry.

five. ben lee's album 'breathing tornadoes' makes him sound like a crazy, creepy, whiny stalker with his i-want-you-why-don't-you-want-me-omg-sigh-i'm-gonna-MAKE-you-want-me lyrics.. and if mine sound anything like that, shoot me now. seriously.. talk about perspective...

six. why did i stop taking my ipod for walks for the last six months? this feels better than anything. was it too hot? or did i forget myself.

seven. there is bear poop everywhere, and i mean everywhere. i wonder if i really should be walking with these super sonic block-every-other-sound-but-the-music earphones in right now (which, while they do block everything else out, actually kinda suck, wtf.)

eight. people always do what they think they're good at. even if it's destructive to their well being, it's what they think they're good at so they feel good doing it, and keep doing it.
think about this.
this is how people everywhere end up in the mindless ruts of life. the ruts that don't nurture anything beautiful inside them, that keep them safe in the knowledge that at least they can't f**k up being f**ked up... because they're good at it...

nine. that last thought is almost too complicated to think about, because words are failing my feelings...

ten. william orbit is an excellent walking soundtrack in the september sun.

tag you're it

this little gem
anticipates
your mad ravish
quickened breath
smitten smile

did you know that?

well now you do

snap

spent thirty-one years
letting sad drown me
spent the last hour
letting anger devour me

first time in my life
i wanna drive fast
i wanna make this real
i wanna make this last

i figured it out
i fall in love with mirrors
seven years bad luck,
worth seeing clearer
'i'm not worth it,
so neither are you'?
is that so?
well, fuck you too

spent the last four years
letting love tell me where to go
spent the last hour
practicing 'no'

spent thirty-one years
in the lost & found
spent the last hour
burning all of it down

i fly for you

i am what i am
(green eggs and ham)
you do not like them?
i do what i can
but i won't be nothing in anyone's hand
just open it
and drop me
then.

i will not defend my wingspan
i already know it's everything, and then
the height i fly
in any skies
is wonder-full, but i'll still try
when i look up, i know it's there
the calmer, crisper, cleaner air
i want it taste it feel it
know
the wind picks up
i'm good to go

higher faster longer still
my might my strength
my hidden will
you see it?
well
I know it's there
the pieces they
have found repair
since YOU have seen their broken face
the light the fight
reclaimed their space

then i felt you flutter
raised a bit
i felt the sky
and my light get lit
(i couldn't
get
away from it)

so then i swooped
so gently down
let you and light turn flight around
i felt you lift me
just
a bit
i hovered savored laughed in it
i spied your eye inside my smile
let pretty little wings fly wild

and now i stand.
right here, i do
'cause i know how i fly for you
but i am clearly what i am
you do not like?
i do what i can
across the sky
i long to be
are you below
or beside me

(i long for you
to plainly see
yes, you are you
and i am me
are you below
or flying free)

a gift

my heart
wants to envelop everyone affected by the
sudden onslaught of tragedy around me
and release every last one of you
free of
this
pain

if only..

absence leaves scars.

and each time you see the marks left on your heart

you will
remember to
always
give,
show,
all your love
to those you love
just because

you can

because you remember how much
you wish you could
give,
show,
all your love to
those
you can't

there is a gift
in the sadness
and this is it

love...

second verse same as the first

I don't have time to cry
I didn't before
and I don't now
I'm sure

but then I made time
I gave the green light to signs

I asked with open eyes for cerulean skies

one after the other, gunshots
asking me, peeling me
warning me
breathing me

killing me

why so softly

because, you see,
the sound
smothered
so covered in the negligence
my lack of reticence
something I
may never
know

open
eyes
cerulean
skies
tricks, lies
comfort in nothing
I fight
with wild, delicious, instinctual will
because I just might

every last one of you
all fall down

are you on the ground?

what's the new up

she looks up at the sky, with its blue and explosion of sun, shakes her head and says,

'..It's not fair. Not at all...'